


A Defining Moment

by Casey_K



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sweet, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 05:03:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3637734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casey_K/pseuds/Casey_K
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are times, and Danny isn’t afraid to admit this is one of them, when things get a little messed up in his head. When the life he thinks he’s living takes on the resemblance of a life someone else is living, one he probably shouldn’t be living, going in a direction it’s impossible to be sure of and then…well, then comes a decision. </p><p>Danny doesn’t want to make the decision. </p><p>Danny isn’t ready to make the decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Defining Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd
> 
> Don't own them
> 
> Yet another possible way of the how and why the boys come together for that first kiss. Would be set somewhere in series five, but no spoilers. 
> 
> Bit sickly sweet, but it was just where the muse was at.

There are times, and Danny isn’t afraid to admit this is one of them, when things get a little messed up in his head. When the life he thinks he’s living takes on the resemblance of a life someone else is living, one he probably shouldn’t be living, going in a direction it’s impossible to be sure of and then…well, then comes a decision. 

Danny doesn’t want to make the decision. 

Danny isn’t ready to make the decision. 

Danny isn’t even sure there _is_ a decision, or whether this is all just some trumped up, whacked out fantasy he’s been living in his head that hasn’t really made it to the outside world. 

There are no surprises in Danny’s mind that this non-decision-messed-upness revolves around Steve. What in Danny’s life these days does not revolve around Steve? Even his time with Grace is tangled up with the availability of Steve’s house for the beach and swimming, or whether Uncle Steve is— _please, please, please, Danno_ —coming on their latest adventure. And Danny doesn’t mind, anything for his little girl, and he kind of likes it for himself too. But what is getting his panties in a twist at this particular moment, even outside of the other messed up stuff in his head is that he doesn’t know, isn’t really sure, how Steve feels about having every other weekend hijacked by Danny and his little princess. 

Now Danny is not shy, no siree. Danny isn’t shy and he can usually find the balls to just get on and get things done. Like with Jimmy Hailing sophomore year. Poor kid didn’t know what hit him when Danny pinned him against the wall at Luca’s party and shoved his tongue down his throat. When Danny knew what he wanted, he usually had the balls to make it happen. He and Jimmy had spent ten gloriously orgasmic months working their way through a battered copy of the _Joy of Gay-Sex_ one of the homophobic jocks had thrown at them by way of insult. It had been truly perfect. 

So he guessed he could just ask Steve--Do you have a problem playing host to me and my daughter every other weekend and occasional evenings? Is this thing going where I hope it’s going?--he could definitely do that. But, and this was the first of many conundrums that started the twist of the other messed up stuff in Danny’s head, what if he said-- _Actually, Danny, now you mention it, it is a bit much and no, I am seriously not interested in you that way._ \--What if he said that? How would Danny tell Grace? How would Danny feel about it himself?

Danny thunked his head on the desk in front of him. He was so exhausted, going round and round in circles and he hadn’t even been in work an hour yet. 

“Okay there, boss?” Kono called from the bullpen. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine as usual,” Danny said, lifting his head an inch before thunking it back down again. And then again. 

Danny felt his presence as soon as he entered the room even though he was in ninja-stealth mode. Danny always knew when Steve was around. His body has developed a McGarrett spidey-sense that made his whole body tingle as soon as Steve was within fifty paces. “What do you want, McGarrett? Can’t you see I’m having a moment here?”

The door to Danny’s office closed softly, muting the distant noise from the bullpen computers. “Danny, I need to know what’s going on with you. You’ve been like this for days. I’m worried.” Danny sensed Steve shifting his weight uneasily. “Look at me, Danno.” Danny looked up and Steve sighed. He pulled a chair around to sit in front of Danny. “Come on, buddy, you can tell me anything. What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

Danny scoffed. “Pretty little head?” Steve blushed. And fidgeted. And looked at his shoes. _Interesting._ Danny watched Steve squirm. “Are you sure it’s me with the problem? You’re not looking too comfortable yourself there, Steven.” And then it hit Danny like a ton of bricks. Steve was trying to find a way to let Danny down gently, to tell him he couldn’t bring Grace out at the weekend, and actually he wouldn’t be available for that beer tonight either. Acid rose in his throat and he felt sick.

“I’m just…” Steve looked up at Danny with big, sad eyes. “Don’t leave me, Danny. I couldn’t… Just, whatever it is, we’ll get through it, okay. If you need some space, more time on your own or with Gracie, I get it, I do. Just…” Steve picked at his fingernails, “leave some room for me?”

“What the _hell_ are you talking about?” Danny’s brain was threatening to shut down. Steve’s rare, and totally ridiculous ramble was causing a short circuit.  
“You’re not…I thought…” Steve huffed. “I thought maybe you were trying to find an easy way to let me down about the weekend. Or tonight. Or all of it.”

“All of what?” Danny realised he was coming across as an insensitive bastard, but he was going into meltdown over here and his usual verbal diplomacy had deserted him.

“Us...”

“There’s an _us_?” Okay, that was uncalled for and Danny regretted letting that one slip out. Steve started to retreat into himself. 

“Always being together. Hanging out. I get that you’re probably sick of me, but…damn it, why is this so hard?” Steve looked as though he was going to cry. Danny could only stare with his mouth open at Steve struggling for his words. And then it happened. 

It played out in slow motion. Steve lunged forward, grasping Danny’s knee with one hand, his shoulder with the other, and mashing their lips together. 

Danny’s whole body went rigid. He felt Steve’s heart break just a little, watched as Steve pulled back to flop into his own chair. Saw his lips move to mumble the words ‘sorry, I thought maybe..’, and his sad shoulder shrug in defeat before Danny’s brain restarted and the oxygen started to flow again. 

“Are you out of your goddam mind? What was that?” he bellowed. 

Steve didn’t look up. “I said I was sorry.” 

“I’ve said it before, you, my friend, are certifiably insane. You don’t just launch yourself through the air at someone…oh, wait, why am I surprised? Why would I think your Smooth Dog handle would actually mean you could approach something like this with a little finesse? Neanderthal.”

Steve bristled. “There’s no need to be cruel, Danny. I made a mistake.” Steve pushed out of his chair. “I won’t be making it again.”

“Sit the fuck down, Steven.” Steve plopped back into the chair, his eyes wide, and Danny grinned. “I don’t know what bat shit crazy stuff is rocking around in that very small brain of yours.” Steve huffed but Danny put his hand up, motioning for silence. “But,” he grinned again, “from your actions, I can gauge that maybe…just maybe…it’s something similar to what’s been on my mind.”

“I knew it,” Steve said, his chest deflated and he sighed deeply. “You’re fed up with me.”

Danny reached over and took hold of Steve’s hand. “Actually, I was worried you were getting fed up with me.”

Aneurysm face. One of Danny’s favourites. “Why would I? You’re the only thing in my life that makes any sense, Danny. Spending time with you and Gracie, and you.” Steve played with Danny’s fingers. “You’re the closest to normal I’ve ever had.”

“And the kiss?”

Steve shrugged. 

This was it. It was crunch time. All the messed up had honed itself into this defining moment. Except this time, it wasn’t messed up at all. This time it was easy, straight-forward, stress-free. Knowing Steve wanted was all it took to tip the scales. Danny stroked Steve’s cheek until he looked up. The sadness Danny saw there threatened to break his heart into a million pieces. “I love you very much, Steven. I think you knew that already.” Steve shrugged and a shudder ran through his body. “I’d like to love you in other ways too, and now I know you’re open to that…” Danny leaned over and brushed his lips against Steve’s and smiled as Steve’s breath hitched. Danny stayed close, only millimetres between them. “A first kiss, Steven, is something to be savoured. Something special. A tender moment betwe—”

“Fuck that.” Steve tugged Danny towards him with such force Danny had no choice but to go. He whumphed against Steve’s chest so hard the chair nearly toppled over. Danny was briefly aware of Steve’s hand making its way under his shirt and he froze again, attempted to pull away, was mumbling around Steve’s oh-so-clever-and-talented tongue but Steve held on. Danny managed to get his knee against Steve’s stomach and levered them apart. He stared at Steve’s ruffled appearance, his goofy grin, and huffed. They vaguely became aware of a commotion in the bullpen and glanced over to see Kono, Chin, and Jerry hooting and clapping. “Shit,” Steve said, shaking himself out and straightening his shirt. Danny clipped Steve around the ear. “Ow, what was that for?”

“ _That’s_ what I was trying to say when you had your tongue down my throat, Steven.” Danny jabbed his hand towards the door. “Glass fucking walls, you numbskull. Look what you’ve done to me.” Danny pulled at his untucked shirt. “You’re an animal.”

Steve grinned and his eyes sparkled. “I can be, when the mood calls for it.”

“Yeah, well, I’d rather we get our rocks off in private, thank you very much.”

“We could knock off early, make a day of it.”

“We just got in.”

“I’m sure the boss won’t mind us taking a personal day.”

The thought sank in to Danny’s frazzled brain. He looked at Steve, still dishevelled and with a look that bordered on hopeful and downright filthy. “You uh…want to get out of here, then?”

Steve jumped up from his chair, grabbed Danny’s hand and dragged him out of the office. They ignored the shouts and catcalls from the team, the odd looks from HPD in the corridors, and broke out into the mid-morning sunshine. Steve didn’t drop his hand to cross the car park to the Camaro. He pushed Danny against the car and dipped his hand into the pocket of his slacks for the keys. “Hey, hey, watch the merchandise in there, buddy,” Danny squawked.

“Oh, I’m gonna do a lot more than that, Danno.” Steve dived in for a scorching kiss that left Danny dizzy before he strode around to the driver’s side. “Get in, Danny. I need to get your pants off before you change your mind.”

Danny slipped into the car beside Steve, still a bit shell shocked by the turn of events. 

“You’re not going to change your mind, are you?”

Danny scoffed. “That is definitely not going to happen.”

“Then what’s up?”

He caught Steve’s gaze just before he threw the Camaro into gear and gunned out of the car park. “I can’t believe how stupid we are. How long it’s taken to get to this stage.”

Steve reached over and squeezed Danny’s hand. “What’s important, Danno, it that we got here.”

 

OoOoOoO

 

“Have you done this before?” Danny stretched over Steve’s sated body. It had been quick, far too quick, but given the pent up energy they’d both been carrying around for the past forever it was understandable and they’d both agreed before they even started it was best to get the first one out of the way so they could concentrate on a more leisurely second. 

“With guys, you mean?” 

Danny nodded, trailing kisses over Steve’s chest. Not wanting to stop, but needing to have a little background before committing anymore of his heart to the project. If he was careful now, he could maybe hold it at the level of friends with benefits. He knew he was kidding himself even thinking it, that he was probably already way past that and still falling, but given that friends with benefits seemed to be Steve’s default setting, he thought a little more denial might save him a whole lot of heartache further down the road.

“A couple of times.” Steve stroked rough fingertips over Danny’s shoulder. His breathing had stilled. “You?”

“Not since college.”

“Never anything serious for me though,” Steve said. “Not like this.” His breathing shallowed even further, to the point it seemed to Danny he wasn’t breathing at all. “It is serious for you isn’t, Danny?”

Something unlocked in Danny’s chest, a sense of relief maybe, a small whisper of hope that this could really be something. It was enough for Danny to push out on that limb and test it for strength. “Very. Not letting go of you now, cupcake.”

“Not just exclusive, serious, I mean…” Steve took a deep, shuddery breath but no more words came out. 

“Go on.”

“Like, lifetime, serious.” It was barely a whisper but Danny grinned hard, crawled up Steve’s body and made a point of meeting his gaze.

“Steven you are practically already my daughter’s second father. You don’t get more serious than that in my book.”

“You mean it? You, me, and Gracie—we’re a family?”

“Have been for a long time. I see that now. The teasing, the comments, they all make sense.”

“How do you mean?”

Danny snuggled into Steve’s side and his heart skipped as Steve squeezed him, and pulled him in a little tighter. “I think we’ve been married all this time, Steven, and we were the only ones who hadn’t cottoned on.”

“You and Gracie are my life, Danny.” 

Danny could hear all the things left unsaid and the last of the fear and uncertainty that maybe this wasn’t quite what Danny had hoped it could be, fell away. “And you and Grace are my life too.”

Steve shuffled them around onto their sides so they faced each other. He stroked a gentle hand over Danny’s cheek. “Stay forever…”

And Danny smiled from the tips of his toes to the depths of his soul. He reached in to kiss the end of Steve’s nose, marvelled as Steve’s eyes fluttered closed and then opened again with a look of such devotion. “I will, Steven. I will.”


End file.
